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It’s been over a month now since I returned home from my 4 month adventure to the other side of the world. Initially I was excited to be back to normality and familiarity. And seeing people at home, especially my boyfriend, after so long apart was amazing.
(All the pictures in this post are of things I’ve been up to since arriving home)
Although it’s inevitable that before long the ‘post holiday blues’ will begin to sink in. I honestly didn’t expect it to happen a great deal for me as I had been very keen to get home at some points of my trip. But there is going to be an adjustment, going from exploring something new every day, to staying in the same town constantly.
It’s a transition
Just like I found the need to adjust when I first started backpacking, I’m finding now that I need to adjust to being back in England, and not being constantly on the go. Admittedly I haven’t stayed put for long. I moved to Sheffield last weekend and am starting at university, so I am happy a new adventure is just around the corner.
Doing nothing is not the end of the world
When I was away I felt guilty for not doing stuff one day because I felt I should be making the most of being away. I think naturally I am the type to feel like I should always be on the go. This probably explains why I regularly have burn outs! Coming home I have been OBSESSED with always doing something interesting. I suppose I’ve been used to my life being very full on and exciting, and whilst toning it down a bit is probably good for my energy levels and mental health, I can’t help but feel like I’m wasting time. I have spent 4 months fully LIVING life, and I almost feel like I am just existing now I’m back home and not exploring 24/7.
You always want what you can’t have
There were so many times in my trip where I got homesick. Like I said before, it was about adjusting! Now that I am home I am definitely looking back on my photos and missing the incredible places I saw as well as the freedom of backpacker life. B U T it is easy for me to forget how sad I was on some days, and how I wanted nothing more to just be at home in Stafford and waking up late on a rainy day. Now I find myself moaning about getting up late most days.
As humans we always seem to want more. We have this false idea that we should also be searching for improvement. Truth is, all that we are ever going to have is what is right now. So we might as well make the most of it and treat it with as much appreciation as possible. Damn I should really listen to my own advice!
Embrace the boredom
I definitely wasn’t bored at any point of my trip. Maybe when waiting for a delayed flight or bus or something, but seriously – how on earth could I get bored?! So being at home with many days consisting of packing for uni and buying cleaning supplies, it’s easy for me to say I’m bored. Thing is, I need to think back to when I was waking up at 6am every day because I couldn’t sleep in hostels and just WISHING I could have a good nights sleep. Or when I was on a boat for 4 days and sick of getting on and off to look at MORE Komodo dragons when I just wanted to lounge around and sunbathe. Realistically having nothing to do isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Good habits slip away so easily
I don’t know how much I mentioned it on my blog, but I certainly told it to myself A LOT! Keep journalling once you’re home!! After month 2 I got into the habit of writing in it every day and it did WONDERS for my mental health. My brain felt clearer and it was one of the healthiest habits I’d ever developed. Coming home I have a new journal, so I can’t use that as an excuse. But I just find myself not writing.
I used it as an outlet for thoughts as people at home were asleep whilst I was awake. But as soon as I was home I was immediately telling my boyfriend my every thought. He’s a wonderful listener and very understanding BUT I still need to have my own back. We’ll be living in different cities again after the weekend and I could need my journal a little bit more.
The world may have stopped turning
I mean yes, of course it hasn’t, but once you’re home and suddenly your travel bubble is burst it feels like you’ve been living in a dream. My life could not have changed anymore this year. In April I was getting up at 5am everyday to go and work in my very normal, very boring retail job. On May 1st I landed in Singapore and between then and August 28th explored 48 destinations across 8 countries. It’s been a whirlwind to say the least.
Of course everyone else has been living their own lives, but nothing had really changed at home. My town, house and friends and family still looked the same. I mean I still looked the same, aside from my tan and dark roots. Everyone takes the piss about ‘going backpacking and finding yourself’ but it’s the truth. I just felt so different inside. It felt wrong to be going back to this life when my mind and my soul felt so altered – WOAH, got a bit deep there.
No one can ever take that experience away from you
As much as it will almost immediately feel like you never went anywhere, no one will ever be able to erase the memories. Unless of course we are actually all in a simulation – don’t watch Black Mirror it’s freaky and too thought provoking. Slowly more and more people have seen and heard enough and won’t ask about your trip anymore. And its easy then to feel like you never left.
The pictures will more than likely be a lasting reminder. Yet even with iCloud they could still somehow vanish eventually. Your memories will be with you forever, and you’re always going to be able to tell people about this amazing thing you did once upon a time.
Life goes on
I feel like I hadn’t done as much as I wanted to in the three weeks I was home, before moving to Sheffield. Naturally I get annoyed with myself for it, because that’s the sort of person I am. BUT I have so much life left to come. So much more to see and so much more to do. I have proved to myself that if I want something enough I will go and get it, and I fully intend to tackle everything in life with that attitude from now on.