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So on July 1st I found myself on a very slow, slow boat travelling along the Mekong from the North of Laos to the North of Thailand. At this point in my trip my phone was water damaged so I had nothing but my journal and the river scenery to occupy me, so I decided to reflect on what I’d learnt in the past 9 weeks of my trip.
1. Regardless of who they are and how long I’ve known them, I will put anyone’s feelings ahead of my own and worry about how something effects them before taking time to think about what I want – I am getting better at just doing everything for me but it still isn’t easy.
2. I shouldn’t make big decisions spontaneously, especially when it involves money and is irreversible.
3. I care a lot about what others think of me – so much more than I initially thought.
4. If I don’t have human interaction for 12 hours I will start to lose my mind. Give it 24 hours and I’ll be crying and on Skyscanner looking for the next flight home.
5. Loneliness hits me very hard and very fast and is the quickest way to make me feel very depressed.
6. I actually love my life at home and my home comforts. The people I have at home and the strength of my relationships there are something very special. The home I have in the town I grew up in is a fantastic place to call home.
7. I can pick myself up on a bad day and try to eradicate a bad mood without relying on anyone else and without needing to cry to anyone but myself in the mirror.
8. I don’t appreciate my parents enough and having them to talk to or facetime 24/7 is the biggest blessing. Especially when I have a bad day, I know in those situations they might not always know what to say but being able to talk to them when it was 7am on a Saturday at home meant so much to me.
9. I feel guilty for doing nothing and just stopping even if it’s what my body needs
10. No amount of money is worth my mental health. I may have lost a lot in some scenarios but me feeling good was always more important.
11. I’m worst at getting a good nights sleep than I thought and if I don’t my ability to be a normal functioning human is 0.
12. I am a nice person. I have a good heart and a lot of love to give.
13. If I have a gut feeling about something I should and can go with it unapologetically. I always feel better because of it.
14. I can do things for myself, it isn’t selfish and I can and should be proud of myself.
15. I lose things easily and can be very careless with my stuff.
16. I am capable of anything I put my mind to and have a lot of confidence.
17. I find it SO HARD to click with people. I knew this before but I didn’t know how difficult it actually was for me. But when I do click with people those bonds are so strong and so tight,
18. I love travel and exploration but I love my family, my friends and my boyfriend more. To me people are home not places.
19. I H A T E forced drinking and partying with a passion and feel ridiculously uncomfortable without good friends around me.
20. I will put up with a lot and am extremely patient with and tolerant of others and difficult situations.