62 Days Away From Home: 20 Things I’ve Learnt About Myself So Far

So on July 1st I found myself on a very slow, slow boat travelling along the Mekong from the North of Laos to the North of Thailand. At this point in my trip my phone was water damaged so I had nothing but my journal and the river scenery to occupy me, so I decided to reflect on what I’d learnt in the past 9 weeks of my trip.

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1. Regardless of who they are and how long I’ve known them, I will put anyone’s feelings ahead of my own and worry about how something effects them before taking time to think about what I want – I am getting better at just doing everything for me but it still isn’t easy.

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2. I shouldn’t make big decisions spontaneously, especially when it involves money and is irreversible.

3. I care a lot about what others think of me – so much more than I initially thought.

4. If I don’t have human interaction for 12 hours I will start to lose my mind. Give it 24 hours and I’ll be crying and on Skyscanner looking for the next flight home.

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5. Loneliness hits me very hard and very fast and is the quickest way to make me feel very depressed.

6. I actually love my life at home and my home comforts. The people I have at home and the strength of my relationships there are something very special. The home I have in the town I grew up in is a fantastic place to call home.

7. I can pick myself up on a bad day and try to eradicate a bad mood without relying on anyone else and without needing to cry to anyone but myself in the mirror.

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8. I don’t appreciate my parents enough and having them to talk to or facetime 24/7 is the biggest blessing. Especially when I have a bad day, I know in those situations they might not always know what to say but being able to talk to them when it was 7am on a Saturday at home meant so much to me.

9. I feel guilty for doing nothing and just stopping even if it’s what my body needs

10. No amount of money is worth my mental health. I may have lost a lot in some scenarios but me feeling good was always more important.

11. I’m worst at getting a good nights sleep than I thought and if I don’t my ability to be a normal functioning human is 0.

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12. I am a nice person. I have a good heart and a lot of love to give.

13. If I have a gut feeling about something I should and can go with it unapologetically. I always feel better because of it.

14. I can do things for myself, it isn’t selfish and I can and should be proud of myself.

15. I lose things easily and can be very careless with my stuff.

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16. I am capable of anything I put my mind to and have a lot of confidence.

17. I find it SO HARD to click with people. I knew this before but I didn’t know how difficult it actually was for me. But when I do click with people those bonds are so strong and so tight,

18. I love travel and exploration but I love my family, my friends and my boyfriend more. To me people are home not places.

19. I H A T E forced drinking and partying with a passion and feel ridiculously uncomfortable without good friends around me.

20. I will put up with a lot and am extremely patient with and tolerant of others and difficult situations.